I am in a deep shxt... and I am a Loser!!!

yipck2003 · PJNet Senior Joined: Jun 30, 2005 Posts: 1311

To all PJNET members.... especially Volcano....

I would like to apologize for putting offending words, for saying hash word, for twisting around many things...

Last few days has been very uneasy in my life. I have lost in every battle in life that I fight. I have been doing things without GOd's grace.

I in pain.... very extremely pain. I have done so many miserable things in life. I no better than a scum. I made wrong judgment, trusted wrong person,
made wrong decision. Eventually I end up losing everything......

My wife divorce me because of certain things that I did to hurt her. And eventually she fight back and I loses certain battles.

My wife hide my daughter from me after she found out I have gf.
I myself to blame because each time my ex wife gave me the opportunity to be with my daughter, spending time with her, I spent little time or doesn't show up. And eventually I lost my daughter. I didn't see her for about 3 months. I have no idea where she is but only know she is somewhere in Malaysia.

In order to preserve my relationship with my gf, I totally gave up my own blood line and stop looking for my daughter.

Each time I see children in the MRT or in childcare or anywhere, my heart misses my daughter. But I still tell myself NO. Closes my heart just because I don't want to meet or talk to my ex-wife. I have become very cruel in many ways...

As with my current relationship with my gf.. everything goes smoothly and suddenly last thursday, she break off with me. I have putting my trust and commitment to the relationship, believing that I would made it work.

For the last 3 weeks, she keep telling me to take care of her forever and that she has given her whole heart to me. She even push me to bring her to batam for trip and we go there last weekend. And on wed we still together. And suddenly thus via MSN, she break off with me.
I really believe she wanted me to take care of her and I fully commit to her, trusted her 100%. And eventually just like that she breaks off.
The reason because she felt I too controlling ( I ask her to notify me on her safety home as she go K till 2am...). Telling me she wanted to be single so that she can date other guy.

Yesterday night she go happy hour. I waited at her place outside till 3.30am . She return home. And she still not willing to continue the relationship. I ask her why she told me to take care of her for last few weeks, not one time but many times... and then go for batam trip and then don't want to continue.
She not willing to give answer.

So I totally screw up in everything...

The two person that I care and love most, now I lost them.......

I am in a deep shxt and I am a Loser!

yipck2003 · PJNet Senior Joined: Jun 30, 2005 Posts: 1311

I found out from the net that says gals can say I love you today. Doesn't mean that they will love you tomorrow. Gosh, I was hoping that is not true.. but it does happens.... Crying or Very sad

pencapchew · Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 4:54 pm Post subject:

Well, everything happen for a reason. Im quite surprised that there's actually a girl who could stand you (no offence). But anyway, it's time to move on and let it go, if she is meant to be for you, she'll eventually come back, chances are your wife = 10% and Singaporean Girl = 90%. If she couldn't get a new date most prolly she'll give u a call again. Who knows.

Sometimes it's called idle period i guess. Some girls went into hibernation.

yipck2003 · PJNet Senior Joined: Jun 30, 2005 Posts: 1311

too bad she can easily get a date because she got good figures... other guys definately wanted to swallow her...

tcj13888 · PJNet Junior Joined: Jan 22, 2006 Posts: 536

sad to hear your story, hope that you will able to get back to your daugther as soon as possible.

hope you be strong and happy, Smile

sunsui · PJNet Starter Joined: Oct 06, 2007 Posts: 129

yipck2003 · PJNet Senior Joined: Jun 30, 2005 Posts: 1311

i did tell my ex wife that i love her. ... yes of course I did.... i did keep my promise but only can hold for 7 years through out our relationship from start till end.

Yeah... now I need to locate my ex-wife.... haiz....

Yes. I was very happy when i was with my daughter.

tanti · Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 11:14 pm Post subject:

I cant help but feel your gf has finally given up on you. If she tells you that you are possessive, then why not look at yourself... sometimes we cant see things others see. We thought what we are doing was right. You thought you meant well by calling if she got home safely but she will think that you are checking on her. Assuming she went k with her buddies, could be some men she knows at work or while socialising. Honestly speaking; most men WILL get jealous and start asking questions if they are the vocal type.

You admitted making a mistake which cost you your marriage but it is in the past now. Move on! You were given visiting rights but you'd wasted it and now you cant even see your daughter. Who is to blame? Leave your gf alone for the time being. The more you push her, the more she will retaliate... Thats how women are...

Concentrate on your work, make the money. That was the reason you went to Spore to work, right? Make things right, it's not easy but you'll get there if you are persistent and consistent. Dont dwell on the past. What has passed does not matter but the future is. Wink

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Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend...

merce · Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 2:39 am Post subject:

glad u realize ur mistake.

what has happened cannot be undone. take tanti's advice and move on. there's no point dwelling in the mistake of the past. move on and u'll find better days.

let us know if u need any help. Cool

lovepark · Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 1:28 pm Post subject:

even though sometimes you are offensive.. but.. yet.. you are not really consider a loser... cos usually a loser will never call themself a loser.. and yet i quite admire u had the guts to tell everyone and dare to face the problem... expecially to man like u... (kiasu type) no offended.. but u are really the man actually.. cos i had met alots of men they just like to hiding themself.. and drunk while facing any problem.. they not dare to face it.. dont ever say tells it to everyone.. but after read all ur story.. seriously i don feel pity for you.. cos u asked for it.. but now its not the time for u to blame yourself how sucks it is. its wasting your time. but glad that u are still alive !!.. you still able to change your life. and grab the happiness you want. and find what u had lost.. not everyone has the chances.

and u should know who is the most important person for you . don cover ur eye becos S.E.X.. and use ur heart to feel it.. what u love that girl? but is she really love you ??... what is love for u ?.. or just bcos u love her sexy body and left your daughter?... and u are not a small kids to let everyone of us here tell u wat should or you shouldnt do.. you are big adult and know how and what you should do the next before everything too late.. its your own life.. you should responsible on what u had done.. and you don need to care how and whats others judge you.. just go and do whatever you want before you regret forever.
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yipck2003 · PJNet Senior Joined: Jun 30, 2005 Posts: 1311

I do love the gf (ex now)... deeply. Its not just about sex. Sex was a bonus. I really did fell in love with her and still are. I love her laughter, her hugging, her kisses, her smells, her irritating behavior, all her bad things... the whole package, i take it all.

I have not love any person ever since my 2nd gf. All this time, I wasn't able to properly love the womans that comes across my live and eventually hurt all of them. When the gf (ex now) comes to my life, I begin to start falling in love with her. This is because my hunger for my 2nd gf no longer exist.

In a relationship, I wanted to love and care for the person and I wanted the person to do the same, love and care.

From the start of our relationship, I knew she is not able to do that for me she is not the type. And there is no perfect partner ever existed as people mental thinking will change over time. I am willing to give a try and face the problems whenever the relationship doesn't go smoothly.

I am willing to make scarifice, do more than I am now, take all extra steps so that the relationship will work. People successfully married for 20 years, 30 years, 40 years. And I believe it can be achieve as long as both wiling to work out.

lovepark · Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 2:33 pm Post subject:

i believe the world is always round.
what do u still expect the girl to love you back while you treat ur own daughter in such way. and relations is should be both way.. all what u had say its ur own side. i don see how much the girl love u.

but as i said.. its not the time now for u to think how and how good or bad for the past..
the past is already past. its time for you to wake up and do what u had not do yet !!.. no time for u to sigh.
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yipck2003 · PJNet Senior Joined: Jun 30, 2005 Posts: 1311

In my previous marriage, I did do that, even though I not really love my ex-wife as much. But I am willing to put in all the hard work, the sacrifice, but eventually doesn't turn out good. We even go for 2 months church marriage councilling when the marriage fails. It only prolong about 1 year... Eventually she ask for 1 month break which I agree to it and I was partly responsible for the break as I needed to concentrate on my biz. And the break eventually become divorce. She keep accusing me of having affair or trying to court other gals, which I didn't do that. And finally she found a divorce lawyer and she divorce me. I didn't want to sign the paper initially, and she keep pushing me everyday, and keep accusing me many things. I finally gave in because she don't trust me anymore.

Now that I really in love with my gf (ex now), I did willing to go through the same process of hard work, sacrifice, do extra steps.

But she didn't see it. She only thinking about her own freedom, her own feelings, etc. Over this few month, she did so many things that are selfish and hurt my feelings. Yet I am willing to take all the bad in because when you are with a person, you take all good and bad. You can't just want this person's good and that person's good.

Many things doesn't comes easily in a relationship. Its a 2 different person's world clashing together trying to create a third one. It takes time to accept what is bad.

Maybe I am not the easily give up type. I fail in work b4, I fail in biz b4, I fail in relationship b4, etc... but I still don't give up.
I still believe a relationship can last a long time that lead to marriage, and marriage that lead to lifelong partner.

I realise that in this relationship, I have attached to her. Anyway, I will attached in any relationship but within the boundaries of a normal coupe. That is me.

However, now I realize my boundaires is an invasion for her. Eventually she felt lost of freedom or too controling element is in place. Now is too late, I don't have the chance to redefine the boundaries already.

Now she ask me to be her friend only. Which is very hard for me. I don't know whether to go for that.

At the moment, I so lost because I won't dare to go for another relationship anymore because I know I will hurt more people in future as I will not love other gals as much as I love her.

lovepark · Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 2:58 pm Post subject:

to start a relationship is very easy.
but its not easy to maintain it..
and in a relationship.. its should not only complain !!...communication is the most important key !!.. and it should be 2 ways. there is no point continue together anymore if that girl don love u anymore!..

and while u said fail in buisness.. fail in work.. fail in relationship.. u even fail to be father. can u see thats problem is not from others... ??.. pull down ur ego.. and its time for u to analysis wheres the problem.. how u should improve it .. this is what we cant help u beside ur ownself.. its time for u to upgrade urself before u ask for any return. else u wont successful.
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volcanne · PJNet Junior Joined: May 08, 2006 Posts: 846 Location: PJ